Help Special Needs Kids Understand the Meaning of Military Service

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Serving one’s country as part of the military is extraordinarily honorable.

However, it’s often hard for children with special needs to understand what the military is because they aren’t exposed to these service people in daily life, and they don’t easily understand geography, politics, terrorism, and warfare.

In my recent Exceptional Parent article, I’ve given lots of suggestions to discuss how your child can participate in service every day just like the people within the military!

Download it here: 0616-eParent – Military Service

-KKS
www.iCanForAutism.com

7 Techniques to Respond to Your Child with Autism for Meaningful Conversation

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Autism Conversations

Your child with autism has just initiated something verbal (with words) and/or nonverbal (body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.).  These initiations are totally precious because they are rare and generated by your child after much effort orchestrating multiple requirements for communication. So valuable are your child’s initiations, they deserve productive adult responses as models to further grow their language skills and continue the conversation.  These techniques can help!

1. Acknowledge:  Regardless of how incorrect her initiated sentences might be, whenever naturally appropriate, acknowledge verbally whatever she has said:

“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh!”
“Mhm.”
“Ah!”
“I see.”
“I understand.”

Along with your verbal input, make your nonverbal body language match your words like nodding ‘yes’, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

2.  Emphasize:  Use interjections to add emphasis and animation to your acknowledgment when appropriate:

“Wow!”
“Uh-oh!”
“Oh, no!”
“Hmm…”
“Ohhh!”
“Whoops!”
“Ugh!”

Children learn by watching and listening to the various models of others, especially when you incorporate what your child has just said.  Your child will naturally imitate your words if he or she chooses.  Respond with short sentences or phrases presented slowly in an audible, clear voice.

After acknowledging and emphasizing, model through incorporation of these three strategies:
 

3.  Expand: Restate whatever your child says using proper grammar to form a complete sentence.”

Child:  “Car go.”

Adult:  “Yes, the car is going.”

Or

Child:  “Her hungry?”

Adult:  “Hmm…is she hungry?”

4.  Extend: After applying the expansion technique above, add new information.

Child:  “Car go.”

Adult:  “Yes, the car is going.  It’s a fast car!”

Child:  “Baby cry.”

Adult:   “Aw, yeah…the baby is crying. He’s hungry.”

5.  Request imitation:  If your child does not choose to imitate your words on his own, at times you may request his imitation.  Since imitation cannot always be demanded or expected or performed flawlessly by your child, discretion should be used.  Insert pauses in order to make it easier for your child to repeat:

Child:  “Mommy, truck going!”
Adult:  “Oh my goodness, yes!  That truck is going too fast!  Johnny, say, ‘Mommy,’ [pause for your child to repeat] ‘that truck’ [pause] ‘is going’ [pause] ‘too fast!’”

(Immediately following, try to have your child imitate the whole sentence without pausing.)

Or

Child:  “Milk.”
Adult:  “Ok…Sarah, say, ‘Can I have milk, Mom?’” or “Yes…Sarah, say, ‘Mom, I want milk.’”

In situations where your child initiates something vague or inadequate, you can respond to what you think his intention was with these two strategies:

6. Paraphrase: To achieve greater clarity using different words, paraphrasing provides rich input for your child to hear and imprint into his repertoire.

Child:  “Milk.”
Adult:  “Oh!  You want milk.  Ok, here’s a glass of milk.”

Or

Child:  “My shoes?”
Adult:  “Hmm…you are looking for your shoes.  Where are your shoes? Let’s try to find your shoes.”

7.  Evoke clarification: When your child initiates a vague or inadequate request or demand, respond with something factual. This might influence your child to consider using other words to clarify:

Child (as a request for milk): “Milk?”
Adult:  “Yes, that is milk.” Or “M-hmm.  The milk is white.”
Desired clarification from your child: “May I have milk?”

Or

Child (as a demand to turn the TV back on): “TV on!”
Adult:  “No, the TV is not on.  I turned the TV off.”
Desired clarification from your child: “Turn the TV on.”

If your child does not spontaneously produce other words to clarify, you can provide the correct model for imitation (e.g., “Sarah, say, ‘Mom, I want milk.’”), or paraphrase with a request for imitation (e.g., “You want me to turn the TV back on.  Sarah, say, ‘Mom, please turn the TV back on.’”).

With these seven strategies, your child’s priceless initiations can be further developed and reinforced to create more natural, meaningful communication.  Feel free to Email me using the form below to share your experiences and to ask questions.

-KKS

FREE Fun Template + Unique Ideas to Help Kids with Autism Start Conversations about Their Summer Vacation!

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Summer VacationAfter a day of school, a birthday party, a recently watched movie, or a return from summer vacation, kids with autism do not tend to initiate or share their experiences.  This usually leads most adults to start a line of interrogation, such as:  “How was school today?”; “What was the movie about?”; “What did you do during summer vacation?”.  Unfortunately, not only does this cause dependency on others to initiate for the child, but the child tends to give only bits of information at a time, thereby creating disjointed communication.

This lack of initiation or of sharing is the result of systemic issues at the heart of autism. The person with autism tends to be inside himself, so he often will have difficulty connecting emotionally with others while experiencing an event or activity. Furthermore, if he has already experienced the event himself, he does not understand the purpose of sharing his memories purely for socialization. Even when he wishes to share his experience with someone, he can be confused as to with whom his story will be best received.

You can help your child make these connections both during and after her experience by pointing out distinctions and later choosing a suitable conversational partner.

DURING THE EXPERIENCE: Point out the interesting, odd, exciting objects, events, or activities.

Examples:

  • “Wow!  Look at that huge log flume!  It goes around and around and up and down!”

  • “Are your feet burning on this hot sand?”

  • “Oh my goodness!  That fish looked like it was flying out of the water!  The fish back home in our lakes don’t do that!”

  • “Isn’t it weird that we are sleeping outside in a tent on the ground instead of inside our house on a bed?!”

    AFTER THE EXPERIENCE: Memory provides the opportunity to engage within ourselves as well as with others while celebrating one’s life and enhancing pride and self-esteem.  Because we can never go through an experience exactly the same way again, we enjoy remembering.  As opposed to a line of questioning or interrogation, your casual initiation of your child’s experience can spark her to want to discuss it further, bring up another related event, and/or initiate conversation about her memory of her own experience with others.

    Examples:

  • “Even though you went skiing a few days ago, it’s fun to talk about what happened with other people, like when you went down that hill super-fast, because you get to think about it again and again.”

  • “I like to remember when you were going down the log flume.  You were so scared, but afterwards you weren’t scared anymore!  Next time if you go down the log flume again, you won’t be scared.”

  • “Remember the tire swing that was hanging from the huge tree by the lake at Aunt Susan’s house?  I am sure you wish that we had one, huh?”

  • “I know that Grandma wishes that she could have gone to Disney with us.  So, if you share your experiences by telling her what you did, Grandma will feel like she went to Disney also.”

TRY THIS FREE CONVERSATION STARTER!

To further help your child, you can make abstract experiences like summer vacation more concrete and tangible with my FREE “CONVERSATION GIFT” TEMPLATE. Visual and tactile objects help people with autism to understand and remember. Souvenirs (either purchased or found in nature), photographs, or drawings are artifacts of what the child did and saw. They allow the child to physically refer to, bring, show, and share his memories.  Memories are the greatest gifts to both give and receive, and people with autism will have an easier time to physically give this “gift” to others.

HOW TO USE THE ‘CONVERSATION GIFT’ TEMPLATE:

-Print the “Conversation Gift” and help your child fill in the blanks.  You can say something general to introduce and stimulate conversation like, “I had such a nice time at the lake.” 

 -Either have your child choose a preferred person, or you choose someone who is open and approachable for your child to initiate a conversation.  For example, “When you see Uncle Bob, you can tell him about your trip to the lake.”

 -Help your child think about that person’s interests, background, occupation, etc. to try to tie in your child’s experiences.  You can say, “Uncle Bob will want to hear about your trip to the lake because he likes the outdoors and animals.” Another option is to be more general and fill in “…because I know that he/she wants to hear all about my vacation.”

 -Look at the artifacts your child collected. For example, perhaps you photographed a mother turtle with her baby turtles sitting on a log.  It may be that your child is able to make an initiating statement by recalling your statements and explanations at the time in which he experienced the turtles.  If not, you can stimulate your child’s initiation by saying something like, “This was so interesting because this is the first time you and I have ever seen a mother turtle with her baby turtles.  When you see Uncle Bob you can tell him about this.  Write down something over here that you would like to say to Uncle Bob about the turtles.”

-To help further the intended conversation, help your child think of a question to ask the conversational partner.  See below for a few examples.  When your child encounters this conversational partner, he can then present this “Conversation Gift” and refer back to the ‘Conversation Starter’ he wrote in order to begin the conversation.  Afterward, the conversational partner will keep this “Conversational Gift” along with the artifact.  Seeing this “Conversation Gift” displayed within the conversational partner’s home may spark your child to initiate conversation again. 

For example…

MY CONVERSATION GIFT FOR: Uncle Bob BECAUSE I KNOW THAT he likes the outdoors and animals.

TITLE:  MY SUMMER VACATION AT the lake

ARTIFACT:  Photograph of turtles your child saw at the lake

CONVERSATION STARTER:  “I saw a mother turtle with her baby turtles sitting on this log.  Uncle Bob, have you ever seen a mother turtle with her baby turtles before?”

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Other examples…

MY CONVERSATION GIFT FOR: My next-door-neighbor, Sarah, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT she lives in New Jersey just like I do.

TITLE:  MY SUMMER VACATION AT Aruba

ARTIFACT:  Granules of Aruba’s sand in a plastic bag alongside a drawing of the white sand in New Jersey

CONVERSATION STARTER:  “The beach in Aruba has pink sand, but New Jersey has white sand.  Sarah, did you know that beaches have different color sand?”

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For a child with limited language…

MY CONVERSATION GIFT FOR: Grandpa BECAUSE I KNOW THAT Grandpa wants to hear all about my vacation

TITLE:  MY SUMMER VACATION AT Disney

ARTIFACT:  Mickey Mouse necklace

CONVERSATION STARTER:  “I saw Mickey Mouse in Disney.  Grandpa, do you like Mickey?”

Over time, your child will learn the value of sharing memories with others through initiating conversation as he/she creates a bridge to the past and a connection to the present.

-KKS

>>DOWNLOAD YOUR CHILD’S FREE “CONVERSATION GIFT” TEMPLATE HERE<<

4 Ways to Help People with Autism Improve Eye Contact

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Though it is unnatural for some people with autism, we should encourage and expect eye contact from them.  Eye contact is crucial as all other social interactions stem from it.  It sets the basic social foundation to ensure attention to the conversation or interaction.  Eye contact signals that the person is present, engaged, and connected with others because our face – especially our eyes – embodies who we are as a person.

Research shows that most communication is expressed nonverbally through facial expressions and body language. While it is true that the spoken word is important, true feelings and intentions can only be seen when one looks at another’s face and body.  Nonverbal communication enhances, clarifies, and reinforces the spoken word and deeply impacts social development.

Many people with autism do make eye contact, but it may be fleeting or occur at inappropriate times. Below are four ways to help your child improve eye contact.  The frequency, duration, and under which circumstances will determine which methods will be best for you to utilize.

These INDIRECT METHODS stimulate active thought processes to occur:

Indirect verbal methods

Explain that eye contact is necessary:
“I can’t see your eyes.”
“I want to see your eyes.”
“I can’t answer you because I don’t see your eyes.”
“I’m over here.”
“You can’t see my face, so you don’t know how I feel.”

Give vague commands using vague, general terms to incite confusion and possible eye contact for clarification:
“Put it over by that.”
“Bring something there.”
“Close this over here, please.”

As you would in any circumstance where you are not aware of being personally addressed, withhold your response, or cue with:
“Who are you talking with?  Are you talking with someone over there?”
“I guess you’re not talking with me because you’re not looking at me.”

Indirect nonverbal methods

Physically bring the child toward you in close proximity.

Allure the child to catch her eye with outrageous paraphernalia on your head or face (e.g., a clown nose, fake mustache, huge sunglasses, a weird wig).  Along with this very instance, it is possible that in the future she will might look at you again to assess whether you are wearing other odd items.  This method should be used sparingly because it is highly unnatural and unreasonable to constantly repeat.

DIRECT METHODS are explicit, passive, and do not require active thought processes:

Direct verbal methods

Directly tell or indicate your child to make eye contact with you. For example, call his name with an expectant intonation in your voice:
“Look at me.”
“Look at my eyes.”
“You have to look at me if you want me to talk with you.”

Go toward her eyes and say:
“Now I can see your eyes, and you can see my eyes.”
*This method should be used with caution because the adult, as opposed to the child, is the one making the effort to do this action.

Direct nonverbal method
Physically move a desired item, or simply your finger, from his eyes toward your eyes.

Whichever method above that you utilize, be sure to encourage, acknowledge and reward your child for looking at you. Do things like widen your eyes, smile, and praise such as, “I’m glad you are looking at me” or “Oh, good! Now I can see your eyes.” The more your child sees the nonverbal cues which dominate social interactions, the stronger social bonds will be with others.

-KKS

5 Essential Steps to Prepare People with Autism for Effective Conversation – as Taught by “I Can Have Conversations With You!™”

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Conversation can be extraordinarily challenging for people with autism due to all of its social, logical, and language requisites which occur before and after one opens his or her mouth to speak.  As a speech-language pathologist, I work with people of all ages who have autism. After 10+ years of development, I have created a specialized teaching method and a clinically effective system that helps people with autism navigate each facet of conversation successfully in my iPad app “I Can Have Conversations With You!™” (www.iCanForAutism.com). This is the first article in a 4-part series that describes how each segment of the app helps your child have better conversations while helping you take on your child’s mindset in order to better communicate with her or him.

Segment #1: “Pre-Conversation Concepts”

Conversations begin when an individual becomes alert and aware of a change in the social environment.  People with autism often have difficulty noticing a change in their environment which is different, interesting, special, unusual, confusing, weird, new, and so on. “I Can Have Conversations With You” begins each conversation module with a video of people experiencing these changes.  Using a combination of words, facial expressions, gestures, and other body language, the conversational partners talk about a particular topic.  After watching the video, the Pre-Conversation Concepts questions make the learner alert and aware of the conversational situation through the following steps:

    1. Conversational partners and their relationships: The first step to set up the framework for conversation is to know who the conversational partners are and their relationship with one another.  People with autism, for example, sometimes overgeneralize the features of a person, leading to an inaccurate perception.  So, the person with autism, especially a child, might automatically label any adult male as “Dad” or any adult woman as “Mrs. Smith, a teacher”.
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    2. Orientation to place and time: After obtaining correct orientation to person, “I Can Have Conversations With You!” then directs the learner to orient to place and time – a common difficulty.  The learner will identify where the conversational partners are having this conversation (which usually corresponds to their relationship) and if they are talking about present, past, or future events.
    3. Eye contact: As people with autism tend to focus more on distractors rather than the targets, “I Can Have Conversations With You!” displays interactive tappable arrows which direct the learner’s attention appropriately.  Observing eye contact between the conversational partners alerts the learner that communication will occur and binds their social connection.
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    4. Physical feelings and mental emotions: Now that the learner is focused on the conversational partner’s eyes, “I Can Have Conversations With You!” uses boxes around their faces to highlight their facial expressions and body language.
    5. Intentions and Motivations: People with autism tend to rely on just any words they can think of which are similar to the conversational situation, often leading to a mismatch. “I Can Have Conversations With You!” teaches the learner to analyze the content of what the conversational partners want to say and why they want to say it, then matching the appropriate words.

See how a person with autism learns “Pre-Conversation Concepts” in my app video tour here: https://youtu.be/63RIhdBxoP0

Like never before in an autism app, “I Can Have Conversations With You!” provides reliable methods and strategies to approach conversation.  Please share this with families you know whose child struggles with conversation. Stay tuned for the next article in this series, ‘Conversational Connectors’, to understand how my app teaches the learner to match appropriate words with intentions.

-KKS